Baby fever is upon me a little. I am not ready for another baby, but I'm getting ready to be ready for another baby. I have come up with a list of criteria I want met before I try to get pregnant again.
1. I want my first baby potty trained.
No way do I want two in diapers and no way do I want to try to potty train while pregnant. Pregnancy sucked for me and I imagine potty training while pregnant will mean lots of crying and screaming.
2. I want my first baby saying some words and maybe a sentance or two.
I need to be able to talk to my first baby a little before I have another on the way. I don't want two who aren't talking. I need to know what's going on with my first more before I get a second in the picture.
3. I want to have been with my current employer for a while.
I'm thinking at least 6 months before getting knocked up. It just seems like a good thing career-wise.
4. If I end up going to China this summer, I don't want to be pregnant while in China.
I was nauseated 24/7 for 6 weeks of my last first trimester, I don't need to add international travel to that. Nor do I want traveler's diarrhea added to it. And I want to be breastfeeding my first while in China because it will make it safer for him. Not sure about breastfeeding through pregnancy at this point, so might as well put it off.
5. I want to be 24 months post partum. It takes 2 years to fully recover from childbirth and pregnancy. I'm still building up my calcium stores. Maybe I'd be willing at 23 months, but really, I'd like to wait until after my current child's 2nd birthday.
So my best guess at a birthday for number 2 would be February to May of 2014. Other things could definitely get in the way of this, for instance my husband's job pursuits.
I can't wait, but I want to wait at the same time, it's such an odd place, and sometimes I can't believe I'm going to do it again, sometimes I definitely do not want to do it again. I swear the next time around will be better, but maybe this is delusion.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Monday, October 29, 2012
We All Need to Calm Down About Occasional Pot Use
First of all, I will neither confirm nor deny my own usage of marijuana. Being that it is illegal in my country I feel a need to just not talk about my own personal experience or lack thereof.
I'm also not going to get into the whole political part of it. The war on drugs is a mostly racist program that other people should definitely write about. I'm against incarceration for victimless crimes; petty possession of drugs and stuff like that. I also think marijuana (from here on out called "pot") should be decriminalized because of this. I'm going to focus more on what message we send children and teens about drugs and how I think it's kind of bullshit.
Personally I think we need to calm the fuck down about pot. I have known several drug addicts and alcoholics in my lifetime. I get it, drugs can get really out of hand, but for the most part the drug itself isn't to blame, it's the person's genetic background and childhood and environment that turns them into an addict. I mean in no way to make their illness seems less than it is. I'm talking about the majority of people who use pot occasionally.
I was part of the DARE program when I was in school, a program that actually showed to INCREASE drug use among the people who participated in it. It was supposed to teach us to resist drugs, they told us that drugs are everywhere and we just need to say no and be able to tell our friends no and the dealers on the street no. Turns out, for many kids, that actually made it seem like drugs were what everyone was doing, so they might as well do it themselves; resistance is hard, let's just do drugs instead.
What I think we need to do is give kids and teen REAL information about drugs. They don't need scare tactics, they don't need to resist; they need real facts about the dangers and the prevalence of drugs. Lots of people I knew growing up occasionally smoked pot, but it wasn't like I was being offered it everyday, I only once had a guy on the street ask me if I wanted to buy weed (I politely declined), and I didn't know anyone who was high all the time and in need of some serious drug counseling. There were a few who smoked it a bit too much and probably did cause their brain some harm. Pot is actually not so great for a developing brain, neither is alcohol, in fact if you can avoid all brain altering drugs until you are 25, your brain will be happiest. But most of us have already had a drink by 21, so whatcha gunna do?
So what I plan on telling my kids about pot and alcohol is this:
For godsakes, if you are going to do pot, have a reliable source. Some of the scariest stories I have heard are people getting pot that has been laced with something else, this can kill you or make you really sick or go insane temporarily. Find trusted friends who have a trusted dealer. I may know some who know some, but don't think this means you can start smoking pot in this house under my nose!
Your brain is still growing, I know you think you know everything, but pot should be avoided while your brain is maturing, if you do smoke it, keep it to a minimum. Same for alcohol.
If you don't want to do it, that's great, please don't freak out on your friends that are doing it. A polite "no thanks," is good enough. I know you'll hear that you should not even talk to people who do drugs, but really some of the coolest, smartest, most interesting people you will ever meet will be those who do drugs or who are in recovery from chemical addiction. Establish good boundaries with your drug-doing friends and come to me or another trusted adult if you think there is a bigger problem going on. I knew a guy who used to just say, "my body is a temple," and everyone laughed and stopped offering him anything and we were all still friends. Chemical abuse is a little rampant in our society, so chances are you'll meet quite a few, but chances are most who you see doing pot occasionally will not be addicts, learn the difference and accept it all.
Wait until you are in college, but drinking a beer totally helps with paper writing if you are a perfectionist. I would freeze up at the computer screen sometimes and then crack open a beer, try again and punch out a 5 page paper in no time. Proof-read it the next day.
If one hit or one drink is good, two will NOT be twice as good. Best to keep your tolerance low, it will cost you less calories and money later.
Pot is illegal, so if you get caught by the school or the cops there can be some real life consequences, be smart. No one will bother you if it's a couple people in a privet residence, and the fact that you are white makes pot practically legal for you. And don't drive, you know how to use the bus system, you know a cab number, you can crash on someone's floor.
If one of your friends is getting really sick or possibly ODing or has drank ALOT and is passed out and you are worried, for godssake, call 911. You will regret it if you don't. Same for your friends that are drink driving, call 911 and give the license plate number, you could save two lives, including your friend's. An underage/or legal age DUI will not ruin their lives, driving drunk might. If this ever comes up, which is probably won't, but if it does, it might be met with resistance, be the hero, even if you will be the only one who feels that way at the time.
It's always better to NOT injest or smoke any drug that you don't need, same for Tylenol. Drugs will not make your life better or turn you into someone great. Drugs are just drugs. Most of us occasionally consume some of them and most of us do not have problems with it. I promise not to freak out over any discovery of drug use, but I will get you help if you need it.
I'm also not going to get into the whole political part of it. The war on drugs is a mostly racist program that other people should definitely write about. I'm against incarceration for victimless crimes; petty possession of drugs and stuff like that. I also think marijuana (from here on out called "pot") should be decriminalized because of this. I'm going to focus more on what message we send children and teens about drugs and how I think it's kind of bullshit.
Personally I think we need to calm the fuck down about pot. I have known several drug addicts and alcoholics in my lifetime. I get it, drugs can get really out of hand, but for the most part the drug itself isn't to blame, it's the person's genetic background and childhood and environment that turns them into an addict. I mean in no way to make their illness seems less than it is. I'm talking about the majority of people who use pot occasionally.
I was part of the DARE program when I was in school, a program that actually showed to INCREASE drug use among the people who participated in it. It was supposed to teach us to resist drugs, they told us that drugs are everywhere and we just need to say no and be able to tell our friends no and the dealers on the street no. Turns out, for many kids, that actually made it seem like drugs were what everyone was doing, so they might as well do it themselves; resistance is hard, let's just do drugs instead.
What I think we need to do is give kids and teen REAL information about drugs. They don't need scare tactics, they don't need to resist; they need real facts about the dangers and the prevalence of drugs. Lots of people I knew growing up occasionally smoked pot, but it wasn't like I was being offered it everyday, I only once had a guy on the street ask me if I wanted to buy weed (I politely declined), and I didn't know anyone who was high all the time and in need of some serious drug counseling. There were a few who smoked it a bit too much and probably did cause their brain some harm. Pot is actually not so great for a developing brain, neither is alcohol, in fact if you can avoid all brain altering drugs until you are 25, your brain will be happiest. But most of us have already had a drink by 21, so whatcha gunna do?
So what I plan on telling my kids about pot and alcohol is this:
For godsakes, if you are going to do pot, have a reliable source. Some of the scariest stories I have heard are people getting pot that has been laced with something else, this can kill you or make you really sick or go insane temporarily. Find trusted friends who have a trusted dealer. I may know some who know some, but don't think this means you can start smoking pot in this house under my nose!
Your brain is still growing, I know you think you know everything, but pot should be avoided while your brain is maturing, if you do smoke it, keep it to a minimum. Same for alcohol.
If you don't want to do it, that's great, please don't freak out on your friends that are doing it. A polite "no thanks," is good enough. I know you'll hear that you should not even talk to people who do drugs, but really some of the coolest, smartest, most interesting people you will ever meet will be those who do drugs or who are in recovery from chemical addiction. Establish good boundaries with your drug-doing friends and come to me or another trusted adult if you think there is a bigger problem going on. I knew a guy who used to just say, "my body is a temple," and everyone laughed and stopped offering him anything and we were all still friends. Chemical abuse is a little rampant in our society, so chances are you'll meet quite a few, but chances are most who you see doing pot occasionally will not be addicts, learn the difference and accept it all.
Wait until you are in college, but drinking a beer totally helps with paper writing if you are a perfectionist. I would freeze up at the computer screen sometimes and then crack open a beer, try again and punch out a 5 page paper in no time. Proof-read it the next day.
If one hit or one drink is good, two will NOT be twice as good. Best to keep your tolerance low, it will cost you less calories and money later.
Pot is illegal, so if you get caught by the school or the cops there can be some real life consequences, be smart. No one will bother you if it's a couple people in a privet residence, and the fact that you are white makes pot practically legal for you. And don't drive, you know how to use the bus system, you know a cab number, you can crash on someone's floor.
If one of your friends is getting really sick or possibly ODing or has drank ALOT and is passed out and you are worried, for godssake, call 911. You will regret it if you don't. Same for your friends that are drink driving, call 911 and give the license plate number, you could save two lives, including your friend's. An underage/or legal age DUI will not ruin their lives, driving drunk might. If this ever comes up, which is probably won't, but if it does, it might be met with resistance, be the hero, even if you will be the only one who feels that way at the time.
It's always better to NOT injest or smoke any drug that you don't need, same for Tylenol. Drugs will not make your life better or turn you into someone great. Drugs are just drugs. Most of us occasionally consume some of them and most of us do not have problems with it. I promise not to freak out over any discovery of drug use, but I will get you help if you need it.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Food Zen Thoughts
Raw milk advocates
Gluten-free labeling on things that I had no idea people would think contain gluten
0% Trans fat label usually means it has trans fat in it
Farmed Atlantic salmon from Chile (think about it)
Why so many types of crackers? Who eats crackers that often?
Low carb juice (how is this possible?)
Fat free cream cheese and sour cream (why??)
Sugar free candy (Agian, how possiblesss???)
Lard advocates
Coke and Pepsi taste the same, so why is Gatorade so much better than Powerade?
5 Hour Energy more expensive than Frappicino
30 count vitamins (really, you're just going to take that vitamin for one month?)
Raspberries from bush so much better than store-bought raspberries
Bad looking pumpkins for sale at Target for $3.99 a piece
Pumpkins labeled as "Live Pumpkins"
Brats in 5 packs, buns in 6 packs.
Always TWO locations for cheese in stores, FAR apart from each other
Pita bread separated from all other breads, nan gets to be in the bakery, but not pita
You can buy four croissants for $4 or 24 croissants for $6, but nothing in between
Not sure if this totally qualified as zen, but it's the title I decided to go with. No explanation for some of the above, so I guess they can help clear your mind. You are welcome.
Gluten-free labeling on things that I had no idea people would think contain gluten
0% Trans fat label usually means it has trans fat in it
Farmed Atlantic salmon from Chile (think about it)
Why so many types of crackers? Who eats crackers that often?
Low carb juice (how is this possible?)
Fat free cream cheese and sour cream (why??)
Sugar free candy (Agian, how possiblesss???)
Lard advocates
Coke and Pepsi taste the same, so why is Gatorade so much better than Powerade?
5 Hour Energy more expensive than Frappicino
30 count vitamins (really, you're just going to take that vitamin for one month?)
Raspberries from bush so much better than store-bought raspberries
Bad looking pumpkins for sale at Target for $3.99 a piece
Pumpkins labeled as "Live Pumpkins"
Brats in 5 packs, buns in 6 packs.
Always TWO locations for cheese in stores, FAR apart from each other
Pita bread separated from all other breads, nan gets to be in the bakery, but not pita
You can buy four croissants for $4 or 24 croissants for $6, but nothing in between
Not sure if this totally qualified as zen, but it's the title I decided to go with. No explanation for some of the above, so I guess they can help clear your mind. You are welcome.
Not Sure About Re-starting Psyche Meds
I have a confession. I have a new psychiatrist. I haven't had a psychiatrist in about four years. That's not the confession. The confession is that she gave me a prescription for Welbutrin and I haven't filled it yet. I haven't filled it because I feel fine now and I've been managing my anxiety as it comes up with a PRN short acting anti-anxiety med. And I only need it a couple times a week right now and if history says anything, eventually I'll notice that I haven't taken it for a month and then I'll got several months without needing it.
About two and a half years ago I saw a regular doctor about anxiety and he gave me Lexapro (an SSRI I think) and I took it for a few days and it made me feel manic and scatterbrained and I hated it, so I stopped it. I had never had such a strong and immediate negative response to a psyche med before. I've taken nearly all of them (another long story involving some not so great doctors and diagnoses), and honestly, the thing I remember most about them is their lack of doing... anything. Sometimes they felt like sugar pills, sometimes they just gave me headaches, sometimes they made me tired for a few days, every once in a while I felt some mild relief from depression, but then it would eventually stop doing that as well. And on a couple of them the withdrawal from missing just one dose was extremely bad. There is one that I will absolutely never take again only because the withdrawal from it was so bad that it made the actual good effects of the drug not worth it (and it took me several very annoying months with lots of symptoms to get off of it).
I'm also nervous because I was on a lot of meds during some very important brain development time. And I wonder if my strong reaction to the one SSRI after being off everything for a few years has anything to do with this. Actually I wonder if it's why I sometimes feel my brain acts strangely sometimes (I get random vertigo occasionally and feel like a few things are mis-wired). Not to mention possible liver or kidney problems that can come from meds that are broken down there. I kind of wonder if I should just be done with any long term psyche meds. I was feeling pretty crappy in September... but it passed. It didn't stick around for months and months. I will probably need the occasional short-term acting anti-anxiety for many years to come, but I think that's all I want to do.
I kind of feel like; been there, done that, I'm going to try vitamins and exercise and therapy and writing now. I still want to have a psychiatrist, just in case I need one for consult, especially during any future pregnancies. I took ZERO psyche meds during my first pregnancy and I don't regret that, in fact it was a goal and I made it and I can say that I did it, but it was NOT easy, especially when wine and cigarettes are also not allowed. I want options for the next one, I at least want to be able to talk with someone who knows the latest research and can guide me through it. But I think I might make a future appointment in a few months and tell her I actually don't think I need the Welbutrin. That I was pretty sure any side effects were going to outweigh any benefits for me at this time.
So, no, I'm not trying to make any statement about psyche meds being evil. I'm just saying that they might not be for me right now. And I could write up a very depressing tale about my psychiatric care when I was an adolescent. And for anyone reading this who want so get off their meds, do it under the guidance of a doctor, I did it once cold turkey and it pretty much completely fucked me up for about 6 months... possibly mildly for the long term. I just didn't feel I had the support of my doctors at the time for quitting them and I was also 19 and stupid.
About two and a half years ago I saw a regular doctor about anxiety and he gave me Lexapro (an SSRI I think) and I took it for a few days and it made me feel manic and scatterbrained and I hated it, so I stopped it. I had never had such a strong and immediate negative response to a psyche med before. I've taken nearly all of them (another long story involving some not so great doctors and diagnoses), and honestly, the thing I remember most about them is their lack of doing... anything. Sometimes they felt like sugar pills, sometimes they just gave me headaches, sometimes they made me tired for a few days, every once in a while I felt some mild relief from depression, but then it would eventually stop doing that as well. And on a couple of them the withdrawal from missing just one dose was extremely bad. There is one that I will absolutely never take again only because the withdrawal from it was so bad that it made the actual good effects of the drug not worth it (and it took me several very annoying months with lots of symptoms to get off of it).
I'm also nervous because I was on a lot of meds during some very important brain development time. And I wonder if my strong reaction to the one SSRI after being off everything for a few years has anything to do with this. Actually I wonder if it's why I sometimes feel my brain acts strangely sometimes (I get random vertigo occasionally and feel like a few things are mis-wired). Not to mention possible liver or kidney problems that can come from meds that are broken down there. I kind of wonder if I should just be done with any long term psyche meds. I was feeling pretty crappy in September... but it passed. It didn't stick around for months and months. I will probably need the occasional short-term acting anti-anxiety for many years to come, but I think that's all I want to do.
I kind of feel like; been there, done that, I'm going to try vitamins and exercise and therapy and writing now. I still want to have a psychiatrist, just in case I need one for consult, especially during any future pregnancies. I took ZERO psyche meds during my first pregnancy and I don't regret that, in fact it was a goal and I made it and I can say that I did it, but it was NOT easy, especially when wine and cigarettes are also not allowed. I want options for the next one, I at least want to be able to talk with someone who knows the latest research and can guide me through it. But I think I might make a future appointment in a few months and tell her I actually don't think I need the Welbutrin. That I was pretty sure any side effects were going to outweigh any benefits for me at this time.
So, no, I'm not trying to make any statement about psyche meds being evil. I'm just saying that they might not be for me right now. And I could write up a very depressing tale about my psychiatric care when I was an adolescent. And for anyone reading this who want so get off their meds, do it under the guidance of a doctor, I did it once cold turkey and it pretty much completely fucked me up for about 6 months... possibly mildly for the long term. I just didn't feel I had the support of my doctors at the time for quitting them and I was also 19 and stupid.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Laughing at "Schedules"
Tonight I am up at nearly one am unable to sleep, while my husband and toddler sleep. This is typical of Wednesday night/Thursday mornings. It's kind of how my schedule is right now, get up early on Saturday and Sunday, sleep in a little on Monday and Tuesday and then be unable to sleep on Wednesday night, be very tired Thursday, sleep well until Friday morning and repeat.
My husband works evenings, getting home sometime between 11 pm and 2 am if the work is really hectic. That will change soon when he switches over to being an hourly employee (long story), then he'll probably get home around 12:30 am every night.
His schedule has changed several times since our son was born. Needless to say we don't have a "normal" schedule for our toddler. Sometimes I have to laugh when I hear parents saying that their kid usually goes to bed at such and such a time but for the last few days he's been up much later and maybe it's this or that or some other thing, but how can I get him back on to his normal schedule. Being able to even think about having some kind of schedule, I have found out, is a total privilege.
If you work normal day time hours, feel lucky. When you work until midnight and you'd really prefer for your kid to sleep in a bit, you find yourself in no rush getting them to sleep. I've found myself slowly sneaking out of the house in the morning, hoping my son will sleep in a bit for his father. Nap time is typically in the early afternoon, but sometimes it's in the later morning, sometimes it's at 6 pm. And sometimes we have to wake him up from a nap to go do something, because otherwise we'd be completely trapped by nap time and not be able to do needed things. Every once in a while, there is no nap and he crashes at 7 pm. Bedtime is as late as 11:30 pm and as early as 8 pm, averaging about 9:30 pm. Wake up is anywhere between 7 am and 9:30 am.
One good thing is that it makes us much more inclined to think any deviating from a pattern as being normal. "Of course he was up so late and barely napped, we lead crazy lives, he's fine. He sleeps when he's tired." I've really never asked for help with sleep because I've just come to accept that in our situation, it's going to be messy. This leads to less anxiety over all with sleep and naps, something I feel proud of.
Don't get me wrong, if we both worked at 8 am 5 days a week, he would have a bedtime and we would be all about keeping this schedule. And someday he will go to school and will need to get up at a certain time on weekdays, but for now, being unscheduled is working.
The early childhood teachers warn of over tired kids who stay up too late, but we've never really seen this. Kids get overtired when they don't get enough sleep, not just when they have later bedtimes. I have found that it's the hours that count. If I add up the amount of hours per day, he's still getting 13-15 hours a day. He's a happy little guy with lots of energy and curiosity.
People need to calm down about children's sleep schedules and realize that some families just can't make any particular schedule work, and their kids are just fine. I'm an adult and I apparently am not on any type of sleeping schedule still. Why should I expect my child to be?
My husband works evenings, getting home sometime between 11 pm and 2 am if the work is really hectic. That will change soon when he switches over to being an hourly employee (long story), then he'll probably get home around 12:30 am every night.
His schedule has changed several times since our son was born. Needless to say we don't have a "normal" schedule for our toddler. Sometimes I have to laugh when I hear parents saying that their kid usually goes to bed at such and such a time but for the last few days he's been up much later and maybe it's this or that or some other thing, but how can I get him back on to his normal schedule. Being able to even think about having some kind of schedule, I have found out, is a total privilege.
If you work normal day time hours, feel lucky. When you work until midnight and you'd really prefer for your kid to sleep in a bit, you find yourself in no rush getting them to sleep. I've found myself slowly sneaking out of the house in the morning, hoping my son will sleep in a bit for his father. Nap time is typically in the early afternoon, but sometimes it's in the later morning, sometimes it's at 6 pm. And sometimes we have to wake him up from a nap to go do something, because otherwise we'd be completely trapped by nap time and not be able to do needed things. Every once in a while, there is no nap and he crashes at 7 pm. Bedtime is as late as 11:30 pm and as early as 8 pm, averaging about 9:30 pm. Wake up is anywhere between 7 am and 9:30 am.
One good thing is that it makes us much more inclined to think any deviating from a pattern as being normal. "Of course he was up so late and barely napped, we lead crazy lives, he's fine. He sleeps when he's tired." I've really never asked for help with sleep because I've just come to accept that in our situation, it's going to be messy. This leads to less anxiety over all with sleep and naps, something I feel proud of.
Don't get me wrong, if we both worked at 8 am 5 days a week, he would have a bedtime and we would be all about keeping this schedule. And someday he will go to school and will need to get up at a certain time on weekdays, but for now, being unscheduled is working.
The early childhood teachers warn of over tired kids who stay up too late, but we've never really seen this. Kids get overtired when they don't get enough sleep, not just when they have later bedtimes. I have found that it's the hours that count. If I add up the amount of hours per day, he's still getting 13-15 hours a day. He's a happy little guy with lots of energy and curiosity.
People need to calm down about children's sleep schedules and realize that some families just can't make any particular schedule work, and their kids are just fine. I'm an adult and I apparently am not on any type of sleeping schedule still. Why should I expect my child to be?
Migraines Are Shitty
So I've had migraines for a while. They haven't been bothering me much since I got pregnant over two years ago. I think breastfeeding also helps keep them away.
I used to take Inderal to prevent them, but slowly tapered off of it before trying to conceive. For whatever reason I got headaches nearly every day of the fouth month of my pregnancy and then they went away. I got a few in the first 6 weeks of pregnancy and a few post partum. I also got auras for the first time after getting pregnant and during the post partum period. In fact that would be my first warning sign. I wouldn't be able to read, everything I look directly at was a flashing blurry, squiggly line.
When I was five weeks pregnant I called my doctor's office and spoke to a nurse about the aura and told her I was about 5 weeks pregnant and then proceeded to have one of the worst conversations I've ever hadwith a nurse and ended up crying a ton after it. Basically she said, "well I don't know what the heck is going on with your headache, but if you are already 5 weeks pregnant (3 weeks after conception) you are harming your unborn baby by not already being under the care of a good OB/GYN!" Which is bullshit by the way, unless I had like some serious medical condition on top of it. So yeah, great way to make me basically not call anymore to that clinic. I almost had a homebirth over that very conversation. Hell, I was ready to have an unassisted birth in my back yard.
Anyway. I've had a few migraines in the last year and they haven't been too bad, just bad enough to be very annoying. Bad enough to make me look and act sick, but not so bad that I can't get through the day. Today was one of those days. I stayed in my bath robe until well past noon, got to my ECFE class and just sat there rubbing my head while my kid played and the other parents mostly talked. I was not interested in interaction, I barely sang along to the songs. We picked up a Papa Murphy's pizza and DQ and I laid in bed and nursed while my husband cooked the pizza. Then I did some extended couch-sitting and TV watching after dinner and am now typing up this blog. It feels better now, but not gone, not to the point where I feel good.
I imagine this is how life is like with a chronic illness. Something that someone might not notice at first, someone might even think you were faking it. Actually I've heard a few stories of people not "believing" in migraines. I kind of want to hit them really hard on the head and give them food poisoning at the same time, then they would know what a really bad migraine feels like. They are real.
In college they were the worst, and I missed quite a few activities because of them. I also had doctors that probably didn't know enough about migraines, because no one said my combo birth control might be making them worse (a very common prescription that can cause migraines!) until I switched birth control methods and they got way better. Another fun fact: combo birth control pills can drastically increase your cholesterol levels (mine were 220 on and 156 off). Again doctors old me about my high cholesterol without even mentioning that it might be the birth control causing it.
Another funny fact is when I was talking about possible things to help with my bad PMS and suspected PMDD they said they treat it with... combo birth control pills. Gee... no thanks. I think we need to come up with some other options for those of us who really can't take these hormone pills. You'd think they could have some other kind of low dose hormone pill or something! It would probably give me migraines anyway.
So I probably need to make an appointment to get a few Immitrex for when I do get migraines, because even though I can get through my day while having one, I'm not really living.
I used to take Inderal to prevent them, but slowly tapered off of it before trying to conceive. For whatever reason I got headaches nearly every day of the fouth month of my pregnancy and then they went away. I got a few in the first 6 weeks of pregnancy and a few post partum. I also got auras for the first time after getting pregnant and during the post partum period. In fact that would be my first warning sign. I wouldn't be able to read, everything I look directly at was a flashing blurry, squiggly line.
When I was five weeks pregnant I called my doctor's office and spoke to a nurse about the aura and told her I was about 5 weeks pregnant and then proceeded to have one of the worst conversations I've ever hadwith a nurse and ended up crying a ton after it. Basically she said, "well I don't know what the heck is going on with your headache, but if you are already 5 weeks pregnant (3 weeks after conception) you are harming your unborn baby by not already being under the care of a good OB/GYN!" Which is bullshit by the way, unless I had like some serious medical condition on top of it. So yeah, great way to make me basically not call anymore to that clinic. I almost had a homebirth over that very conversation. Hell, I was ready to have an unassisted birth in my back yard.
Anyway. I've had a few migraines in the last year and they haven't been too bad, just bad enough to be very annoying. Bad enough to make me look and act sick, but not so bad that I can't get through the day. Today was one of those days. I stayed in my bath robe until well past noon, got to my ECFE class and just sat there rubbing my head while my kid played and the other parents mostly talked. I was not interested in interaction, I barely sang along to the songs. We picked up a Papa Murphy's pizza and DQ and I laid in bed and nursed while my husband cooked the pizza. Then I did some extended couch-sitting and TV watching after dinner and am now typing up this blog. It feels better now, but not gone, not to the point where I feel good.
I imagine this is how life is like with a chronic illness. Something that someone might not notice at first, someone might even think you were faking it. Actually I've heard a few stories of people not "believing" in migraines. I kind of want to hit them really hard on the head and give them food poisoning at the same time, then they would know what a really bad migraine feels like. They are real.
In college they were the worst, and I missed quite a few activities because of them. I also had doctors that probably didn't know enough about migraines, because no one said my combo birth control might be making them worse (a very common prescription that can cause migraines!) until I switched birth control methods and they got way better. Another fun fact: combo birth control pills can drastically increase your cholesterol levels (mine were 220 on and 156 off). Again doctors old me about my high cholesterol without even mentioning that it might be the birth control causing it.
Another funny fact is when I was talking about possible things to help with my bad PMS and suspected PMDD they said they treat it with... combo birth control pills. Gee... no thanks. I think we need to come up with some other options for those of us who really can't take these hormone pills. You'd think they could have some other kind of low dose hormone pill or something! It would probably give me migraines anyway.
So I probably need to make an appointment to get a few Immitrex for when I do get migraines, because even though I can get through my day while having one, I'm not really living.
Saturday, October 20, 2012
You know what people need to stop getting pissed off at?
People need to stop getting pissed off at criticism from strangers over email lists.
One: It's a stranger! They don't know you, so stop taking what they say so much to heart. They might be having a stroke for all you know and just weren't themselves when they wrote that email.
Two: It's fricking email! You know how they say communication is 90% body language and intonation? You know how much you can see body language and hear intonation over email?
Three: People feel anonymous over email lists, even if they really aren't so anonymous. They are sitting nicely protected in their office or bed or coffee shop, possibly hundreds of miles from you; no risk of a fist fight. So chances are those people would never say those things to your face. If they do say them to your face, then by all means get pissed off
Four: Quite possibly now YOU are being critical of their supposed criticism. Think about it, kind of hypocritical, don't you think?
Five: It's an email list, if you ask a question or post something to it that riles people up, just take the good and leave the bad and be done with it. It's not written in stone, it's not going down on your personal record, they probably won't use it in court testimony. Please don't take it so seriously.
NOTE: I so wanted to put this as an email in one particular email list I'm subscribed to, but did not want to be privy to the shit storm that would follow, so I'm putting it here instead.
This advice also goes for facebook groups. Seriously, people, ban people if you have to and stop being so thin skinned while reading email from strangers...
Save your angst for when your mother criticizes your parenting.
One: It's a stranger! They don't know you, so stop taking what they say so much to heart. They might be having a stroke for all you know and just weren't themselves when they wrote that email.
Two: It's fricking email! You know how they say communication is 90% body language and intonation? You know how much you can see body language and hear intonation over email?
Three: People feel anonymous over email lists, even if they really aren't so anonymous. They are sitting nicely protected in their office or bed or coffee shop, possibly hundreds of miles from you; no risk of a fist fight. So chances are those people would never say those things to your face. If they do say them to your face, then by all means get pissed off
Four: Quite possibly now YOU are being critical of their supposed criticism. Think about it, kind of hypocritical, don't you think?
Five: It's an email list, if you ask a question or post something to it that riles people up, just take the good and leave the bad and be done with it. It's not written in stone, it's not going down on your personal record, they probably won't use it in court testimony. Please don't take it so seriously.
NOTE: I so wanted to put this as an email in one particular email list I'm subscribed to, but did not want to be privy to the shit storm that would follow, so I'm putting it here instead.
This advice also goes for facebook groups. Seriously, people, ban people if you have to and stop being so thin skinned while reading email from strangers...
Save your angst for when your mother criticizes your parenting.
Why Shallow Rumination?
I gotta be honest, I didn't think much about the title. I thought maybe my blog should be about musings. So I looked it up in an online dictionary and Thesaurus like we all do when we want a different word. Musings came back sounding way too deep. I'm going to be doing some musings, but they aren't going to be that deep and meditative like the dictionary told me they should be. So I changed musings to ruminations and then tacked "shallow" to it, because most of the time I don't plan on thinking that much before I write. I'm just going to write and you will hear my shallow, shallow self come through.
Too often I think too much before writing, so this is going to be different, I'm going to try to post often and just post and write stuff..... ruminations if you will. Things I notice, funny stuff my kid does, annoying things I've had to deal with. You know, a blog!
Too often I think too much before writing, so this is going to be different, I'm going to try to post often and just post and write stuff..... ruminations if you will. Things I notice, funny stuff my kid does, annoying things I've had to deal with. You know, a blog!
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