Tonight I am up at nearly one am unable to sleep, while my husband and toddler sleep. This is typical of Wednesday night/Thursday mornings. It's kind of how my schedule is right now, get up early on Saturday and Sunday, sleep in a little on Monday and Tuesday and then be unable to sleep on Wednesday night, be very tired Thursday, sleep well until Friday morning and repeat.
My husband works evenings, getting home sometime between 11 pm and 2 am if the work is really hectic. That will change soon when he switches over to being an hourly employee (long story), then he'll probably get home around 12:30 am every night.
His schedule has changed several times since our son was born. Needless to say we don't have a "normal" schedule for our toddler. Sometimes I have to laugh when I hear parents saying that their kid usually goes to bed at such and such a time but for the last few days he's been up much later and maybe it's this or that or some other thing, but how can I get him back on to his normal schedule. Being able to even think about having some kind of schedule, I have found out, is a total privilege.
If you work normal day time hours, feel lucky. When you work until midnight and you'd really prefer for your kid to sleep in a bit, you find yourself in no rush getting them to sleep. I've found myself slowly sneaking out of the house in the morning, hoping my son will sleep in a bit for his father. Nap time is typically in the early afternoon, but sometimes it's in the later morning, sometimes it's at 6 pm. And sometimes we have to wake him up from a nap to go do something, because otherwise we'd be completely trapped by nap time and not be able to do needed things. Every once in a while, there is no nap and he crashes at 7 pm. Bedtime is as late as 11:30 pm and as early as 8 pm, averaging about 9:30 pm. Wake up is anywhere between 7 am and 9:30 am.
One good thing is that it makes us much more inclined to think any deviating from a pattern as being normal. "Of course he was up so late and barely napped, we lead crazy lives, he's fine. He sleeps when he's tired." I've really never asked for help with sleep because I've just come to accept that in our situation, it's going to be messy. This leads to less anxiety over all with sleep and naps, something I feel proud of.
Don't get me wrong, if we both worked at 8 am 5 days a week, he would have a bedtime and we would be all about keeping this schedule. And someday he will go to school and will need to get up at a certain time on weekdays, but for now, being unscheduled is working.
The early childhood teachers warn of over tired kids who stay up too late, but we've never really seen this. Kids get overtired when they don't get enough sleep, not just when they have later bedtimes. I have found that it's the hours that count. If I add up the amount of hours per day, he's still getting 13-15 hours a day. He's a happy little guy with lots of energy and curiosity.
People need to calm down about children's sleep schedules and realize that some families just can't make any particular schedule work, and their kids are just fine. I'm an adult and I apparently am not on any type of sleeping schedule still. Why should I expect my child to be?
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